Confused by Love Read online

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  I wake in the morning early. It is 5:00 and Donte is still fast asleep beside me. I carefully slide out of his bed, grab my wrap and walk to my room. I secretly hope Claire is still asleep. I walk into the bathroom, and jump in the shower.

  “What on Earth have I done?” I say as I slide to the floor of the shower. I have just risked everything all because of a stupid kiss. It was a moment of madness and I could lose everything. Donte is going to wake up, realize what happened last night and I will be left heartbroken and jobless. I knew I shouldn’t have kissed him back.

  I climb out the shower and wrap a towel round me. I walk in the bedroom and Claire is just climbing out of bed.

  “Hey, Izzy. You been crying?” Oh shit.....

  “Erm, no. I got shampoo in my eyes.” Lame excuse, but believable. She seems satisfied with my answer, smiles and walks in the bathroom. I walk to the closet and put some flannel tracksuit bottoms and a small cotton t-shirt on. There is no point getting dressed in something smart. I have the show today, so at seven onwards, it will be manic; make up, hair, and changing clothes every few minutes. I throw my hair in a bobble, knock on the bathroom door and tell Claire I am popping out. I walk out the bedroom and grab my phone and leave the room. I walk down the stairs. I don’t want to get in the elevator; it reminds me of last night. I find myself walking to the entrance of the hotel. I decide I’m going to go out and find a café for breakfast. I need time alone to think. I walk for about ten minutes before I find myself one. I walk in and find a table at the back of the café. The café has cream walls with images of the local beach pinned around the walls. There is soft light facing down on the pictures. They light up the pictures. There is about twelve round, beech wood tables with two seats per table.

  A female waitress comes up to me and takes my order. I order poached egg on toast with bacon on the side and a glass of fresh OJ. A few minutes later, my phone starts ringing. I look at the screen and it shows Donte’s number. It is 6:10 in the morning. Why on earth is he ringing me at this time? I’m not late yet.

  “Hello?”

  “Isabella! Where are you?”

  “I'm just out having breakfast. I will be back at the hotel by seven.”

  “Tell me where you are and I will come get you,” he almost begs.

  “No thank you. I will be okay. I’ll just get a taxi back,” and with that, I hang up. My breakfast arrives and I dig in. Just as I am eating my last piece of bacon, a message comes through.

  ** Please tell me where you are. We need to talk about last night! **

  I don’t reply. It is now 6:35 and I have finished my breakfast. I go over to the counter to pay. Pulling a ten dollar bill out of my pocket. I hand it over and tell the lady behind the desk to keep the change.

  “Thank you,” she says. “I will stick it in our charity box.” I smile at her and walk back to the hotel.

  Donte and Claire are standing at the entrance, waiting for me.

  “Izzy, where have you been? You said you would be back by seven. It’s now 7:10!”

  Claire has her hands on her hips. Uh oh, this implies I’m in trouble.

  “I'm sorry, Claire, but I had to get out and think about things,” I say as I walk past them both.

  “Well, I have to pop out to get those makeup brushes. No more disappearing, okay? I won’t be long,” Claire said as she walks out the entrance. Now it is just Donte and I again.

  “Please, excuse me. I have to go see what time I’m on,” I say to Donte as I start to walk away.

  “Just wait a minute,” he says as he grabs my arm – again!

  “Donte, I have to get my rota for today. We can talk later. But for now, I have a job to do,”

  I say as I pull my arm free, not looking at him. I walk away and go in to the big hall. They have the runway and chairs set up, covered with white chair covers, with a mix of purple and yellow sashes tied around the backs of the chairs. I walk over to a tall beautiful woman, with brown eyes and long blonde hair.

  “Hello, my name is Isabella Jacobs. I’m one of the models for today. I have come to collect my rota.”

  “Certainly, Isabella. My name is Ellen. Who are you here with?”

  “I am here with D-Ms fashion.”

  “Just hold on two minutes, please,” Ellen says as she walks away. A few moments later, she returns with my rota.

  “Thank you,” I say as I take it from her.

  “You are very welcome. If you ever need anything, just come find me.” I walk away, and head back to our hotel suite.

  Donte is already in the room when I arrive. I storm past him and into my bedroom. He comes and knocks on the door. I don't answer. “Izzy,” he shouts. I walk to the door and open it slightly.

  “Please, we need to talk.” I open the door wider and he walks in. He comes and sits on the bed, so I sit at the dressing table so I'm not near him.

  “What have you got to say, Donte?”

  “Why have you been ignoring me all morning? I thought we sorted all this last night.”

  “No, you tried it on last night, but today we go back to reality. Let’s face it, you’re my boss and in a relationship. What happened last night cannot happen again. I am not a homewrecker!”

  “Isabella, this is what I’m talking about! You don’t listen to me. What Amanda and I have feels nothing like the feelings I have when I’m with you. Don’t you see this?”

  “So, if you don’t have feelings for her, why are you marrying her? Don’t you think that is a little unfair?”

  Chapter 9

  “Izzy, I’m not marrying Amanda because I love her. I’m doing it so I don’t humiliate her. She asked me on Valentine’s Day when we were out with our parents. I couldn’t tell her no in front of our families. It’s all gotten out of hand, too fast for me to control it.” Donte looks so...confused.

  “I...I think I’m falling in love with you. Since the moment you walked into my office, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

  Tears fill my eyes. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better. Look at me! I might be a pretty face, but no one loves me.”

  He cups my face in his hands and looks into my eyes. I feel he can see right through to my soul.

  “Please believe me. I feel alive with you. You make me think I have achieved something with my life and that life isn’t all about money.” With that he kisses me. I kiss him back.

  The kid who grew up in a care home. I have never had anyone admit they love me.

  Never.

  I slowly stand up, his lips still sealed around mine, and I push him down on the bed as I follow him down. He stares into my eyes and they are glowing with affection. His hands slowly make my way to my breasts again, only this time, I don’t stop him. I have never been touched like this. The first time, I was drunk and it was a case of wham bam, thank you ma'am. No nice touching, playing or slow build up.

  I feel his manhood grow beneath me as he kisses and touches me. This is a real turn on. I lift my hand and start slowly pushing it down his body. He knows what I want to do and he rolls on his side so I am laying beside him, all while his lips and hands stay connected. I begin to feel on his growing erection, only his clothes between my hand and his bare flesh. He takes a sharp intake of breath and kisses me harder. He takes his hand off my breast, and puts it on my stomach. He then slowly slides down to the waistband of my bottoms and asks, “Am I okay to continue?” I nod. He pushes his hand right the way down my bottoms till he comes to the lace fabric of my panties. I gasp and arch my back off the bed. He smiles while still kissing me. I take my hand off his erection, and put it under his chin so I can deepen the kiss. He pulls away to grab some air, then his lips are on mine again. I take my hand off his chin and put it on his chest. He has a fine feeling body under his t-shirt. My hand carries on going south and soon enough I am at the waistband of his jeans. I struggle with one hand to open his button, but I manage it and soon enough, I
am touching his erection with my bare hands. He feels so firm, soft and strong at the same time. I circle my hand round his erection and I start pushing and pulling. His breathing is erratic. He is turning me on more and more, just with his breathing alone. He can’t hold back any more, he inserts a finger in me.

  “Ahhhh.” I screw my eyes shut. He has been so gentle. I arch my back of the bed to welcome his finger deeper. He grins at me and pushes it in further. He starts to move his fingers, in and out, faster and faster. Suddenly, we hear a key turn in the lock. I jump away first.

  “Shit, Claire is back!” I say and run to the bathroom. I hide in the bathroom putting my knickers back normal. When I return, I can’t look him in the eyes. I am all red and flustered. I walk out the bedroom into the living quarters of the suite. Claire comes out and says, “Alright, Izzy. I’m going to get my things ready. We have to be down stairs in ten minutes, so hurry up and get ready!”

  “I don’t have anything to do. I can’t get dressed until I’m downstairs. But sure thing, I’ll be ready.” With that, she leaves the room and goes back in the bedroom. I blow a breath of relief. Donte comes out, with a cheeky grin. I can’t help but smile at him. He slowly walks towards me. He stands before me and snakes his arms around me.

  “Donte, not here. Not while Claire is here. Do you want to get caught?”

  “Oh, but you’re beautiful and I can’t keep my hands off you,” he says as I swat his arms. He gives me a quick kiss, then walks away. He walks towards his bedroom door, looks back and winks at me. I feel like a schoolgirl; I am happy, really happy.

  Donte, Claire and I are all in the elevator making our way to the bottom floor. Donte is behind me and keeps putting his hand on my behind, giving it a sly squeeze. When the elevator ping’s to a stop, we all walk to the dressing rooms. Claire and I walk to the dresser that’s set up for me and start to get ready while Donte goes and does his meet and greets; to drum up more business probably.

  I put the lilac suit on. It had a light lilac shirt with frills on the front, then a darker shade lilac jacket that only has one button in the middle to fasten with straight cut lilac trousers. I also have silver shoes on to compliment the suit. The clothing company who’s arranging the show have dressed it up with a silver bulky chain and a silver bracelet that has a love heart hanging from it

  Before I know it, I am standing behind the curtains, getting ready for my turn on stage. I am next. The director of the show is sitting in the audience, so we had another member of staff telling us all what we had to do. The lady, Mrs. Lowell, told me I had two minutes before I was up. I look at her and nod. Turning to face the curtain, I am nervous. I am actually physically shaking and I think I am going to vomit. I have not been on the catwalk since before my accident. I'm afraid of being booed off the stage and I am starting to have second thoughts. I turn around to plan my escape route when I turn into Donte. He is still so beautiful. He's wearing the normal white T-shirt with a black jacket and bottoms. He looks at me and smiles. I look into his beautiful eyes and decide I can't do it. I run off the backstage towards my dressing room. Donte follows me till he catches up with me.

  "Izzy! Wait a minute please, you’re on next. Where are you going?" he says as he grabs my arm. I have tears rolling down my face. He wipes them away with his fingers, careful not to smudge my makeup.

  "I can’t do this!" I sob.

  "Princess, why do you say that? You’re beautiful. The catwalk is where you belong," he says as he looks in my eyes.

  "I'm scared. What if I get booed off the stage? I can't do this. Please don't make me," I beg while still crying.

  "Look at me, princess, you are beautiful! You will not get booed of the stage. Why you say that?"

  "I am so scared. I thought it would be easy to get back in the swing of it, but my confidence has gone to the scrap heap with my car. I'm not sure I'm ready yet," Donte pulls me into a hug, and kisses my head.

  "You can do it. I believe in you," We are instantly distracted by Miss Lowell.

  "Excuse me, Izzy, but you’re up in thirty seconds. Please make your way to the stage,” she says in an authoritative tone.

  "She will be right there," Donte says as he smiles at Miss Lowell. He grabs my arm and starts dragging me behind him as he follows her.

  "Donte!" I say but he keeps dragging me. I stop still which brings Donte to a halt. "Please, you said you wouldn't make me do it!”

  "Come on. I promise I will be right here waiting. Isabella. Don’t do this please. If you can’t do this, I am going to have to replace you, and I really don’t want to do that. Please, you can do it”

  Chapter 10

  Holy shit! Did he just say that? I look at him and he doesn't even blink. Holy cow, he is serious. I pull my hand out of his.

  "Screw you!" I hiss as I walk to the stage. I can’t afford to be jobless right now, so I have no choice but to do it. I reach the stage just as Mrs Lowell introduces me.

  "Next, we have Isabella. Please give her a round of applause." The curtains open slightly and I don't notice Donte beside me, but he gives me a little discreet push. I walk out onto the catwalk and everyone starts clapping and cheering. I plaster a smile on my face. What the hell does he think he is doing? Blackmailing me into doing this or I lose my job? What a jackass! I knew last night and this morning was just a show. He used me, the selfish pig! I will give him what for. Nobody can treat me like dirt and get away with it. Then he pushes me on stage! My anger is boiling mad, but it helps me get through the catwalk. After walking to the end, posing for the press and magazine companies to take pictures, I made my way to the back. I reach the back and turn and pose once again. I turn away and exit the stage. The applause was amazing. I didn't get booed off like I had feared. ‘Yeah, I can do that again,’ I think to myself. I climb the bottom step of the stage and there he is, waiting for me. He walks over to me, smiling a shit eating grin at me. I look at him, then walk past and push him with my shoulder as I pass him.

  "Izzy wait!" he shouts as he rushes after me. He just isn’t fast enough. I reach the dressing rooms before he caught me. I walk in and shut the door in his face. "Open the door, please."

  "Will you just go away and leave me alone?" He bangs on the door. "Go away! I do not want to speak to a jackass like you. Just back off and leave me the hell alone!" I shout. He has well and truly made me angry. He bangs on the door louder

  "Open this damn door! I need to talk to you!" I don't reply; I just sit in my chair in front of the dressing table.

  "Isabella, if you don't open this door, I will just have it opened myself! Do not ignore me!"

  I did exactly that. I ignored him. It all went very quiet and I know he has gone to find someone to open the door.

  Claire isn't in the room so I suspect he has gone to find her. I have half an hour before I am up again so I decide to run while he isn't at the door. I run up stairs and as soon as I am of the ground floor, away from view, where he can't find me, I slide my shoes off and carry on running up to the top floor. Only eleven sets of stairs. I make it to our hotel room in one piece. I walk into my bedroom and text Claire.

  **I'm in the hotel room. Meet me here in five minutes for the change of hair. Please do NOT tell Donte I'm here. I will speak to him after the show. Thank you. Love you. **

  I press send and lay back on the bed. I close my eyes and think of the show. I enjoyed that, like, really enjoyed it. What was I worried about? It was like I was never away. I smile to myself. I hear a key turn in the door. I sit up, still smiling.

  "Claire, I'm in the bedroom.” The bedroom door opens and my smile vanishes. Donte is standing there with Claire's phone.

  "You’re not Claire! Where is she?" I say as I stand up.

  "Isabella! Stand right there and please listen to me." Shit, he sounds angry! I should be

  angry, not him. I go to walk past him, but he grabs me by the arm stopping me from running.

  "Isabella, please. I'm sorry. Please. Look at me," he says, stopping my thin
king. I look up at him. “I don't want to lose you, but you keep running. Why won't you talk to me?" he says, looking heartbroken. But right now, I don’t care. He threatened to take my job away from me.

  "Why did you do that?" I say while still crying. He wipes my tears away. He joins me on the floor, but I can’t look at him. He pulls me onto his knee, but I refuse to move

  "Izzy. Please, why did you run this time? Please talk to me. I never ever want to hurt you, but you keep running away and you rip my heart out each and every time you run!" I look up at him,

  "You really don't know? Are you that stupid! I thought you at least cared for me and out there?" I say pointing to the door. "You spoke to me like I was a nobody. Just a stupid employee. I thought you wanted more. You led me to believe you want more from me, then you treat me like that!" I say as fresh tears rim my eyes. He lifts his hand and wipes my tears again.